lilly0 (lilly0) wrote,

Monologue Chapter 5

Title: Monologue: Chapter 5 (of 13): Ha-Ha
Pairing: RyoJin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: romance, friendship
, bit angst
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
It happens almost out of a sudden. 'Almost', because Jin should have seen the signs. But too pre-occupied with the problems in their relationship, it slipped his attention. And then Ryo is gone... leaving just a single note. Where he is, is a mystery, as is what drove him to leave. Desperate to save their relationship Jin decides to fight against unknown demons of their hearts. He is searching for the key to understanding Ryo's past... so that he might be able to open the locked door again.
Note: Flashbacks and letters Jin has written are in [italic]

Jin pushed Ryo against the wall, carefully though, his arms resting on the other’s hips. He kissed Ryo hungrily, lips sucking at Ryo’s, teeth scratching him, while his tongue teased Ryo’s lips to open up. Ryo tasted like salt from the sea… and smoke… juice from the lolly he had been eating earlier.

Ryo smiled against the heated kiss, finally giving in and kissing Jin back just as demandingly as he was kissed. Jin drew back breathlessly, biting into Ryo’s chin softly. He could feel how a shiver ran through Ryo’s body.

“Will you let me tonight?” Jin asked softly, his hands stroking over Ryo’s sides.

For Jin Ryo had always been sensual… The type of guy who wouldn’t hold back too much when it was about making love. He had thought that in this term they would be similar. When they had cleared up what they were to each other – lovers – they would just naturally have sex.

It had nothing to do with being cheap or easy to get, but Jin had thought that they both would want each other and not worry too much about what others would think if they went to bed with each other right at the beginning of their relationship. They knew what they were to each other after all, why proofing it to others?

Not that Jin was disappointed that Ryo didn’t want to have sex at first, but he was surprised. He was simply longing for Ryo’s touches, he wanted to feel his body, taste his skin, being engulfed in his warmth. He knew that Ryo was having similar thoughts, his eyes showed it all, but still…Ryo kept pushing away. As if he wanted to make sure first. Sure about what?

Jin had accepted it of course. And he had loved their dates. It was fun to go out and kiss and touch each other and stop before it got any further. It was like the time before Christmas, when one was waiting for the big day to come… getting more excited with every day. Jin had realized that Christmas would be a wonderful day then. He was looking forward to having sex with Ryo and at the same time he simply enjoyed the time they spent together.


For a moment Jin had been almost surprised, as if he couldn’t believe it that this moment he had been waiting for was finally coming. Then he grasped this little yes immediately, pulling Ryo into his arms and whispering sweet things into his ears. Ryo laughed slightly about that and this was exactly what Jin had planned.

His hands moved over Ryo’s chest, slipping under his shirt. They had done that quite often, but this time it felt different. Ryo was moving into his touches, giving in to Jin completely, just like Jin was giving in to him.

Dropping down into Jin’s bed, finally feeling Ryo, tasting his skin, feeling his warmth…this was what Jin had been dreaming of. And it was gorgeous, feeling Ryo’s hips against his, his breath meeting his ear and neck, lips kissing him and teasing him, while he teased and kissed the other too. It was so intense that it overwhelmed Jin and made him feel dizzy… and loved like never before.

“Hey Jin.” Ryo rested his chin against Jin’s chest.

Jin smiled down to him, his fingers brushing through Ryo’s sweaty hair. “Yes?”

“Was I any good?”

Jin blinked at that question, then he chuckled. “Honestly… sometimes your questions are amazing.” He smirked at the other. “Want me to show you how good you were?”

Ryo smiled at that answer, looking almost relieved. He laughed at Jin’s teasing, sitting up a bit. “Yes please.”


“Yes, his brothers weren’t really nice to him. They said things like 'I break your nose when you don’t do this or that'. Well, I don’t think they really meant it. But telling this a 12-year old is mean. I would have never treated my own brothers like that.” Yoko frowned a bit. “As an older brother myself, I really felt angry at them.”

“Actually his arm got fractured because one of his brother’s threw him out of the room. Literally: threw him out…” Hina mused.

Jin angled for his coffee to diffuse his own annoyed and upset feelings when he heard that. “So you went there and helped him?”

“Yes.” Yoko told him earnestly. “First of all I wondered what was going on with him… I mean, he was so shy and at the same time he could be so snarky… like a wild cat.” He paused. “I worried about that.”

“Why?” Jin asked in surprise.

“Because I think it’s dangerous. A kid should grow up in a loving environment without fearing to go home. What if a child adapts such a thing and keeps it in his memory. What if it will make it impossible for it to trust people? What if it searches such a relationship later on? Such patterns sadly get adapted…”

“You are right.” Jin admitted silently. “You did a gorgeous thing, Yokoyama-kun.”

“Yeah.” Hina smiled. “I’m glad Yoko intervened. After all Ryo was able to find a good relationship…” He smirked a bit at Jin. “For us that’s a huge achievement.”

Jin nodded his head slightly, his gaze shifting to something far away. Yoko was right. Ryo had been able to find someone who loved him. Still there was something inside him, like a wall that kept him from Jin.


Where did it come from?

Jin sighed tiredly while he was going home. He didn’t want to go to his empty and silent apartment. He missed Ryo so much… sitting alone at home just made him remember what he missed and how it would be when Ryo was still there.


Jin blinked in surprise, turning around a bit to face the person that had called him. He still stared at the other in surprise. He hadn’t expected to meet one of his Senpais here. But then he remembered, also he had a history with Ryo. Why not giving it a try then?

Dear Ryo,

I just remembered our first time.
It was amazing. I was longing for you so much that every touch and every kiss was exciting.
Sleeping in your arms gives me peace… every time.
Does it give peace to you too to sleep in my arms?
I remember after our first time together you asked me if you were any good.
I had to laugh about that back then, thinking that you were a cute dork for asking such a thing, because of course you had been amazing.
But seriously Ryo, did anyone tell you once that you weren’t any good?
Who would do such a thing?
For me you are the best! No matter what and when.
I want you like I never wanted someone else before.
And I love you like I never loved someone else before.

Love, Jin

PS: If you come back, you can call me Fatass every day.
Just come back, please.

Note: Hey dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support!! So, I wanted to tell you that my Request Post is open. If you feel like requesting a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE

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