Title: Painful Days and Stormy Nights Chapter 29 (~30): Realization
Pairing: RyoJin, Ohno/Aiba, KimuShingo, Takki/Sakamoto, Sakumiya, Nagase/Koichi and one-sided Miyake/Sakamoto, PiKame or TegoPi? Jun/Uchi
Genre: AU, family, friendship, romance, angst, drama
Disclaimer: The drama reaches its last round... What will happen when the brothers try to find out the truth? Everything turns into the wrong direction when Ryo finally realizes what's lying deep inside his mind...
Takki giggled a bit when he felt how Sakamoto wrapped his arms around his waist. “Hey…” he complained half-heartedly, when the older one pulled him down into his bed again.
Sakamoto smiled at that, sitting up too. “I can’t believe that tonight was the first time we had time for… THAT.”
Takki chuckled. “We’ll have more time for…THAT… from now on.” he promised, bending forward a bit to kiss the other’s lips softly.
“Yes.” Sakamoto chuckled slightly. “Just until your little brother decides to be in love with a certain golden-haired guy of our Host Club. Then you will be busy and bothered again.”
“I won’t.” Takki grumbled over the teasing, but when he saw Sakamoto’s warm smile he sighed a bit. “Okay, maybe I’ll be bothered then.”
“Because…” Sakamoto started.
“Because he is too young to be in love.” Takki mumbled, not really sounding convincing.
“Yeah.” Sakamoto laughed. “That’s exactly what I had expected you to say.” He stroked over Takki’s hair a bit, curling some strands of it between his fingers. “You know, actually it is good for him to be in love and have someone at his side. It’s not that it’s better or more important than having a brother, but it’s…different. And it will help him a lot. It’s quite a big step for him. So better be happy for him…”
Takki smiled. “Of course I will be happy then.” He stretched a bit, before he had to laugh himself. “But it won’t stop me from being an annoying older brother who wants to protect him… no matter how hard he tries to stop me.”
Sakamoto grinned. “You will definitely get on his nerves.”
“Definitely.” Takki agreed, smiling brightly.
Sakamoto chuckled at that. “I would love to have a younger brother too…”
Takki laughed. “I guess you can choose out of all the guys around you. Just don’t pick me. There are other things I want to be for you… but definitely not a brother. Besides that I have enough work to look after Ryo and get on his nerves…” He didn’t worry about these things that much anymore – in the end he knew that he and Ryo had a special bond that couldn’t be cut that easily. The more he tried and the more he forced himself on the younger one, the weaker this bond would become. It was just about being himself and treating his brother normal. Not avoiding fights or arguments anymore. It sounded so simple… but it had been so difficult for him. Now it suddenly started to work.
Sakamoto smiled softly, glad that things started to lighten up now. Not that everything was solved, but they were going into the right direction. He placed a soft kiss on Takki’s lips, smiling a bit when Takki sat down on top of him and brushed through his hair to kiss him heatedly. Then the younger one jumped out of his bed again. “I’ll just go and get us something to drink. Just stay in bed, okay?”
“You young guys and your energy.” Sakamoto joked. “But okay, of course.”
Takki stretched a bit when he walked into the kitchen, grabbing some soda and sitting down on the counter. When there was a noise at the door he frowned though, slowly slipping down from his place and sneaking into the foyer. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw who just came home. “Takuya?”
Takuya turned around in surprise, sighing in relief when he saw that it was only Takki standing behind him. “You are still awake?”
Takki raised his eyebrows. “The question is rather… Have you been out till now? A date?”
Takuya chuckled a bit, grabbing Takki’s cheeks and squishing them. “Secret.” he teased, leaving a surprised and curious Takki behind while he went to his room.
“Is it really okay that I’m the one going to this place with you?” Jin asked carefully, though he actually felt unbelievably excited and happy that Ryo wanted him to accompany him.
Ryo smiled a bit. “You are the only one I want to bring along. I need you… because I don’t think I would have the courage otherwise.”
“What about Takki?” Jin asked carefully.
Ryo looked at the other warmly. “He gave me this address some days ago and told me to think about it properly. Until I feel that I’m ready…”
Jin smiled a bit. “But I guess he wants you to tell him then so that you can go together.”
Ryo tilted his head a bit. “I don’t know… maybe he wishes for it. But… I think that it’s important for me to go on my own. There is another place I need him more to accompany me.”
“What kind of place?” Jin wanted to know.
Ryo smiled a bit. “I’ll tell you later.” he promised, then he opened the door to the building slipping inside before he would change his mind. Jin followed him, blushing a bit when Ryo angled for his hand to feel a bit more secure and calm. When they walked into the waiting room, the secretary smiled a bit at them. Ryo bowed politely, asking her for an appointment with the doctor.
“Just a moment.” she smiled a bit. “Sensei is on his 5-minute break. I’ll ask him right now.” A moment later she was back, Tsubasa following her. “Ryo-kun!” he smiled happily. “You really came…”
“Well…” Ryo stuttered. “I thought it was about time to visit.” He bowed in front of him. “Sorry for all the troubles I made.”
“Don’t worry about that!” Tsubasa laughed friendly. “Let’s work together from now on. Do you want us to talk a bit right now?”
Ryo smiled thankfully at that, before he looked at Jin. “Is it okay for you to wait here?” He blushed a bit. “You can go ahead though.”
Jin rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I’ll wait.” h grumbled, merely to hide his own embarrassment. Ryo nodded his head happily, before he followed Tsubasa into his office. “Here.” The latter smiled warmly, pointing at a box with stuffed toys. “We’ll work with these.”
Ryo blinked a bit. “What…”
Tsubasa laughed. “And every time the reaction is the same.” He grinned. “Don’t worry. This here is something simple. It’s some sort of a roll-play. You’ll choose a stuffed animal for every person that’s important in your life. Don’t think too much about it, just choose your first association. When you chose it you will tell me why you took it and what the role is this person plays in your life. Alright?”
Ryo nodded his head. This sounded pretty simple… and almost fun. He looked at the doctor shyly. “Shouldn’t it be more…” he paused, blushing a bit. “…difficult?” he asked carefully. “Like you asking me about recent incidents? And the things I scribbled down? My dreams? My memory?” He sighed a bit. There were things he was able to remember completely now, like his father’s suicide. And that he had been abused… just how much? He knew that Takki didn’t know it. But still… there were answers he needed to find and, most important, he had to learn to deal with what had happened in the past.
Tsubasa smiled at that. “Step by step. You know, your mind isn’t a simple box which I can open easily. The persons around you define your life though and you’ll be surprised about the things that will open up to you through this game. Things you never paid attention to. And slowly we’ll work down to your memory and try to help you to live with the past.”
“Okay.” Ryo smiled at that in relief, before he bent his head over the box, choosing several animals for his brothers and friends, telling Tsubasa the name of the person and its relation to him and the role that person was having in his life every time he chose an animal.
Tsubasa listened to him intensely, taking notes. When Ryo paused, he looked at him warmly. “Finished?”
“No.” Ryo shook his head earnestly. “Of course not. It’s just…”
“Just what?” Tsubasa asked softly when Ryo didn’t continue.
Ryo blushed a bit. “That the last two are the most difficult to choose.”
Tsubasa’s interest was awakened immediately. “More difficult? Because… you are closer to them than to the others?”
“Maybe.” Ryo stuttered. “But I think it’s something else… It’s difficult for me to define them…”
“Which two persons?” Tsubasa wanted to know.
“Aniki…” Ryo admitted.
“Takizawa-kun?” Tsubasa wanted to know. “Though he is your brother it’s difficult for you to define him?”
“Actually, well he is my brother of course. And my friend. But then, he is also almost like a father for me.” He paused here, smiling warily. “He had always been like my father.” Ryo blinked. When he had said the last words his eyes widened. Though he couldn’t remember it anymore, he knew it was true. Takki had never been only his brother. Just by blood he was his brother… by their relationship he was like his father. Because even when their father had still been alive, he had never been like one for Ryo. The one preparing his meals, the one taking him to school, the one scolding him, the one praising him, the one playing with him, the one caring for him… it had only been Takki, not his father.
Tsubasa’s eyes gleamed a bit like someone who had just discovered a hint to a treasure. He smiled warmly. “We’ll come back to that later. And the other person?”
“Jin.” Ryo told him.
“Who is Jin?” Tsubasa asked though he had already met the guy when they were searching for Ryo and Pi. But what interested him the most was what he was in Ryo’s eyes.
“He is…” Ryo paused here. “…my best friend.”
“And?” Tsubasa asked, feeling that there was more to it. When Ryo didn’t answer immediately he looked at him encouragingly. “Like a brother?”
“He had been once.” Ryo stuttered. “Like my brother. But I don’t want him to be my brother… But I also don’t want him to be only my friend.”
Tsubasa smiled a bit. “Tell me more about him.” He leaned back then, listening to Ryo’s words about Jin. An almost endless explanation about how gorgeous he was. He nodded his head a bit, then he looked at Ryo insistently. “Listen… I’ll read something out to you, alright? And then you’ll tell me what you think about it.” He took the sheet of paper where he had just written down his notes about Ryo’s explanation. “It’s about my best friend…” With that Tsubasa started to repeat Ryo’s words, only exchanging the names and other personal dates. When he had finished he smiled a bit. “So?” he asked.
Ryo’s eyes widened in surprise, his cheeks flushed a bit. “That’s…”
Tsubasa looked at him warmly. “Sometimes it helps to look at things from outside, you know? When you feel like you don’t find a way anymore, take your time and relax. Try to look at this problem differently, as if you are someone else who watches your problem.”
“I’m so excited that you are celebrating your birthday with your friends.” Nino smiled happily.
Takuya laughed at that. “The amazing thing about that is that he is not only celebrating his birthday with his friends but also with us.”
Ryo rolled his eyes at that. “Don’t be too excited…” he grumbled.
Nino almost pouted at that. “I thought we are over the: My family is so embarrassing part…”
Takuya laughed silently. “I don’t think we’ll ever be over this part. It’s okay… it’s just normal to be like that. We promise you Ryo that we won’t embarrass you! And we promise we will just be there at the beginning and then we’ll all have very important things to do and leave you young guys alone.”
Ryo smiled in relief, before he remembered something. He looked at Takuya curiously. “Say Onii-chan… Shingo will come too right?”
Takuya nodded his head before he sighed a bit. “I don’t even want to know what the both of you are talking about all the time…” He frowned a bit when Ryo giggled. “I really don’t wanna know it…”
Subaru grinned. “But I want to know it even more now…” He bent forward a bit, over the cake he was preparing, twinkling at Ryo. “Is he talking about Takuya?”
“Of course.” Ryo shrugged a bit. “We talk about everything…” he rolled his eyes, grinning at Takuya impishly. “As if you are really THAT gorgeous…” He squealed a bit when Takuya smacked him playfully.
“Brat…” the older one grinned, sounding not too displeased that Shingo was apparently totally lovey-dovey.
Ryo grinned a bit, before he caught Takki’s figure passing the living room. He bit his lips nervously, before he got up. “Sorry.” he mumbled absent-mindedly. “I’m back in a minute.” With that he rushed out of the room, following Takki. The latter turned around a bit when he felt the younger one’s presence, smiling at him warmly. “Everything alright, Ryo?”
Ryo tilted his head a bit. “Can we talk?”
Takki blinked at that. These words coming out of Ryo’s mouth were definitely something new. He smiled a bit, trying not to sound too excited. “Of course. Come…” he pulled the younger one along to his room so that there would be no one disturbing then.
Ryo smiled warily. “Promise me you won’t be angry…”
Takki sighed, placing the plates he was carrying on the desk. “I don’t like talks that start like this.” he admitted. “They never end well.” He sat down on his sofa, pulling Ryo down on the place next to him. “I can’t really promise you that… You have to take the risk.”
Ryo shook his head. “Promise me. Otherwise I won’t tell you.”
Takki hid his grin at that. A few weeks back he would have bothered Ryo with questions, but now he knew something better. Hence he merely shrugged, pretending to walk away. “Okay, you don’t need to tell me.”
“HEY!” Ryo complained when Takki was about to leave the room.
Takki turned around, blinking a bit. “Yes?”
“Okay. I’ll tell you.” Ryo sighed a bit, but decided to dash forward. “You know…it’s not like I didn’t want you to go there with me. It’s more like I felt like it had to be something I do on my own…” he rubbed over his head nervously. “I don’t want you to feel like I left you out. But I was so nervous and it was important for me to do it on my own.”
Takki blinked, feeling a bit nervous. “What did you do?” he tried to sound not too nervous. “Please tell me.”
“I went to Tsubasa-kun.” Ryo finally explained. “To work on my problems… And I’ll go there once a week from now on.”
Takki stared at the younger one in surprise. He had expected a lot… but this here was one of the very few things that really surprised him. He smiled at the younger one brightly, feeling how a wave of relief washed over him. “I’m so glad. You are so strong for taking this step.”
“Really?” Ryo sighed in relief. “I’m so glad you are not mad because I didn’t take you along.”
Takki shook his head a bit. “Of course I’m not. I can understand that you wanted to do it on your own.”
Ryo leaned back contently, before he looked at the older one through worried eyes. “There is just one favour I have to ask of you… I don’t want to do this alone…”
“Sure.” Takki stretched a bit. “What?”
“I want you to take me to our parents’ grave.” Ryo said.
Takki blinked. “You really want to?”
“Yes.” Ryo smiled sadly. “I can’t remember our mother, because she died when I was born. And those things I remember about my father aren’t too good.”
Takki flinched at that, but didn’t dare to ask more. It was up to Ryo to set the pace and he was doing it quite well right now. Takki didn’t want to push him too much. “You want to be able to pull a line?” he asked him. “To get over things properly?
Ryo nodded his head. "Exactly. So… you will take me along?“
Takki smiled. „Of course.“
"There is something else…“ Ryo started, looking at Takki warily.
“What is it?”
“You remember…the fight we had before I ran away?“ Ryo asked carefully.
Takki sighed a bit. “Yes…”
“I’m sorry.” Ryo shifted around a bit. “I still think it’s stupid that you went through my stuff” He frowned when he remembered, making Takki grin a bit. “I swear…if one of you guys does that again…I will…I will…” Apparently he was at loss of words here, not sure what he would do then.
“Don’t worry.” Takki smiled. “We are sorry for that. We were just really desperate back then. And we won’t do it again. That’s a promise.”
Ryo sighed in relief. “It’s just… I said some mean things back then, and I want you to know that it’s not true that I hate you.”
Takki’s heart made a joyful jump. “I know that…It’s okay.” He smiled teasingly. “Wow, don’t you feel exhausted after talking for so long?”
Ryo glared at the other one, frowning a bit. “It’s really exhausting! I feel so tired right now…”
Takki grinned, grabbing Ryo’s shoulders and pushing him out of the door. “Don’t feel too tired… This is going to be a long night with your friends. And don’t forget that Jin will come too.”
Ryo blushed a bit when he heard Jin’s name. He had to remember his talk with Tsubasa and the things he had said about Jin. There was no avoiding it anymore. His stomach made a jump whenever he saw the other, whenever he heard his name. It had taken him long to realize what was going on with him… and now that he knew it, it didn’t make things less difficult. What if Jin didn’t want him? What if he was just like a brother for him? Ryo’s stomach twisted a bit at that thought. He didn’t want them to be only friends… because he wanted Jin. At his side.
A/N: Woah...it's coming to an end! This almost surprises myself ^^
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